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Feb082008

Let’s Leave Poor Abigail Breslin Alone, People

Posted by Molly in Romantic comedies

This past summer my friend and I were in a theater, punchy with outrage at No Reservations. What we thought would be as guilty a pleasure as the happily massive bowl of spaghetti featured in the trailer turned out to be the most appalling bit of neglect porn served up since Gwyneth Paltrow languished away in her equally-creepy apartment in Se7en (shame on you, Catherine Zeta-Jones). So when Definitely, Maybe showed up in the coming attractions recently, I considered throwing my precious popcorn at the screen while Laura howled, “Leave that poor girl alone!” The premise is bizarre, presented as heartwarming. A charming (or horrible) dad recounts three romantic relationships to the pleasantly-resigned Abigail Breslin, and it’s all some taunting dance leading up to the promised revelation of her mother’s identity. What? Hey kid, look through his files, find your birth certificate, and move on to something healthier…maybe another alien flick. Because when you and your dad meet cute, it’s just icky. The only thing that makes me a bit curious is the inclusion of Isla Fisher, whose scene-stealing hilarity in Wedding Crashers leads me to believe she could breathe a little life into just about anything. Opens Valentine’s Day, naturally.